stupid rant.
You know, it’s weird…
I think I convinced myself I didn’t care about what others think. About… how I dress, how I do my make up, how much I eat, how i don’t do my nails, how i don’t style my hair..
For awhile now I’ve gone almost barefaced everyday. The most I would wear is mascara and neutral eye shadow. I would eat candy in class and fast food often.
I would wear basketball shorts or sweatpants, a tanktop with converse. I really did convince myself I don’t care about dressing up„ being pretty.
But these days I took a good look at myself. I probably gained 10-15 pounds. My hair was a damaged mess. Nails arent done. and maybe because of the weight gain, i stopped wearing tight clothes. I don’t even know where I’m getting at…I just don’t feel confident..is that the word I’m looking for? Then I thought about what if I did lose the weight gain, dress up, style my hair get a haircut…would that boost up my confidence? I realized I havent taken pictures in months… is that cuz of my lack of confidence?
I thought some people don’t care about how I am.. and just like me the way I am. I guess I got to careless. but honestly.. maybe.. its cuz i live in a fucked up society that even though I know I look fine…I still manage to think otherwise.
